Iris Know who I am
by Kurayami-ni-Koorime
Summary: Rating might be changed in later chapters, HxK Hiei is once again in the presence of the fox and finds his reserves giving way to the kitsunes advances. Songfic to the goo goo dolls Iris. R
1. so you are out there

Heh...okay, this is chapter one. Yes I know that songfics are not normally this... _large_ but I really love this song and want to do it justice. ; Okay? Yes it is shonen ai right about here but it might escalate, it really depends on how able I'm feeling. Enjoy  
  
**Warnings and disclaimers**: This is shounen ai, if you have anything against the HieixKurama pairing then I suggest you leave. I might not own them but I can write as many fanfictions as I like! '

A dark figure stared through the tinted window, eyes clouded and dark, secrets swimming behind them in a depth that took everything in and never released what they sought.  
  
Rain pounded all around the figure, clad in black that misted into the dreary midnight scenery around him, keeping a perch on the outside of the window that had become so familiar to him.  
  
Just inside of that window was the warm and dry interior of a room he had watched over for many a year now.  
  
The cold droplets soaked through his black cloak, running in rivers down his back and streaming down his face in an unwanted caress. Silent drops soaked into his clothing under his cloak, having taken in too much water at this point to sustain its purpose any longer, and did their best to chill him to the bone; shivers wracking him every now and then.  
  
'How does he do it?'  
  
'How does he make all of my decisions seem so...irrational, all of the answers that I've been so sure had eluded me for so many years appear before my eyes with just a simple word or explanation?'  
  
These thoughts did their best to perturb the silent youkai but did little to dim the thoughts that ran just below the surface of those venom lanced views.  
  
What had been truly disturbing the hi-youkai was the unidentifiable tightness in his chest, the way his eyes seemed to linger longer than necessary when nobody was watching, the dreams that his nightmares had turned into.  
  
The feelings.  
  
Dark eyes turned even more venomous as he felt the warmth in his chest start to rise again at the sight before him, the sight that he had grown too accustomed to over the years.  
  
The fox walked into the room, his air of grace and dignity wrapped around him like the shroud of desolation and odium upon the one outside of his window, red strands falling in their delicately smooth waves around his face, his body moving with a sensuous sway that could only be possessed by the enthralling fox himself.  
  
Thunder cracked in the distance, sending a splash of brilliant white though out the town, lighting up the outside world from it dreary haze and for a moment the figure could be seen, crouching on the tree's limb, small and almost undetectable in the greatness of the tree. But for just that one moment the crimson orbs could be seen for what they were in the safety of the night.  
  
Hungry.  
  
**And I'd give up forever to touch you**  
  
There was nothing more in the world that could have drawn him out of his revere of un-sated desire than the light from the inside of the cozy room being dimmed by a presence at the window.  
  
The light outside the window dimmed as the rumbling of the thunder shook its way through the wet earth and the figure in the tree backed up against the sturdy trunk, seeking refuge from the presence at the glass.  
  
Emerald eye's, fresh and sparkling, gazed out from behind that glass; an eternity of knowledge held behind those laughing green pools. The body of a simple seventeen year old ningen, not having any sign of the legend held beneath, stood in the windows frame, lithe and provocative as ever in the half clothed state of pro-shower tranquility.  
  
The eyes searched for something that could not be seen, that did not want to be seen; but a smile graced the soft pinkish lips as the nimble fingers reached for the latch on the window. The smile seeming to take on an almost youko-ish appearance as the light from behind the red head spilt over his features and fell into shadows at the contours of his mouth; his facial characteristics taking on a twisted predatory and innocent look as he swung the window open, letting the rain pour in from the outside.  
  
The black clad figure cringed slightly as the window swung open, rain pelting the kitsune where the once closed window had been, soaking over his bare chest and into his burgundy mane.  
  
'Damn you...Kurama.'  
  
'**Cause I know that you feel me somehow... **  
  
The fox shook his head, sending the red locks everywhere, obviously enjoying getting wet...again. He smiled and not even the chilling rain was enough to stop the hi-youkai from warming up at the sight of such a pure radiance.  
  
"Hn...stupid fox."  
  
The grin only grew wider as the half hearted insult drifted into his window from the dark depths of the tree.  
  
"Ah...so you are out here."  
  
He chuckled that deep rumble of a laugh that shouldn't have ever come from such a ningen, eyes lighting at the mere sound of his companion's voice, the rain still pelting into his room from the stormy outside and raising goose bumps on his fair, delicate skin.  
  
Shaking his head once more to inhibit the moisture on his face from falling into his eyes he smiled that sexy smirk into the tree only a fingertips brush away and asked what need'nt be asked.  
  
"So...are you going to come in and keep me company?"  
  
Hn, and what if I said no? No to the one person who could make the walls that I've so precariously built up around these damn ningen feelings crumble with one simple tug of facial muscles? The one person who would actually let me into their home, their room, and provide me with a place that I thought to be safe enough to sleep in, safe enough to want to stay in for longer than obligatory.  
  
"Hn."  
  
The black clad figure grunted again, taking a deep breath of the muggy rain scented air around him and catching the delectable hint of roses that permeated the fox's house hold, sighing it out more peacefully than he had planned to.  
  
Such a pointless question when the one before him was the only one who had ever provided him with the feelings that he had never before experienced; and probably would never be reciprocated back to him.  
  
'Of course I'll come in you damn irritating fox, if only just to be closer to the one heaven I've ever known.'  
  
**You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be**  
  
But of course his pride would not allow him such a luxury as to voice what his mind splayed out before his tongue. Untouched paradises that held an exquisite taste of apprehension and delectability just beyond his reach.  
  
"Hn, get dressed."  
  
The fire youkai spat out, taking a step forward and therefore making himself that much more visible to the soaking kitsune.  
  
His cloak was wrapped tightly around his body, shrouding the contours and entrancing outline of his form from the fox demon before him though it did nothing to squelch the affectionate rise of the red heads stomach when he came forward, showing himself to him.  
  
"Nice to see you again as well, Hiei."  
  
Kurama chuckled, stepping out of the rain just long enough for a black blur to dart into his inviting sanctum, bringing with him the spray of the tree branch he had been perched on. The fox laughed, feeling the cool water spray him as he closed the window quickly, shutting out the rest of the storm from his warm room.  
  
"Didn't feel like taking residence at Genkai's hmm?"  
  
Kurama pointed out the obvious once again, his fingers working on re- latching the window into place as Hiei pulled off his boots behind him.  
  
"Damn fox and his cleanliness fetishes..." Hiei growled low in the back of his throat as he tugged the boot off and let it drop by the side of the bed, going after the second one and ignoring the previous statement.  
  
"Hmm?" The fox asked, turning around to see the fire youkai perched on his bed, dropping his second boot onto the floor.  
  
Hiei just scowled up at the partially dressed fox across the room from him, training his eyes on the fox's face and his face alone, growling out an answer.  
  
"I don't want to go there right now."  
  
He really didn't...there had been this unexplainable urge to see the fox that had taken over every single one of his senses, directing him through the relentless tempest outside and across town, dodging cars that tried to run him over and the lightning strikes that seemed to reach out and curl their electrifyingly clammy tendrils around him as he flew high through the air, straight to Kurama's window.  
  
"Oh..." Kurama smirked, placing a hand on his hip and pointing to himself. "So you came to see me?" He asked, playing with the half koorime before him.  
  
Hiei snorted, scoffing at the naive tone Kurama had tried to use on him, seeing right past the playing.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself fox, I'll leave if you don't want me here."  
  
'But please don't make me...'

**And I don't wanna go home right now**

More to come minna, just please, I need at least _one_ person to review. I don't care if its three words long just review! insert senseless groveling here


	2. it gets a little hotter

**A/U: **Hey you guys! :3 It be me again, with the second chapter to boot! ; so...yeah not much to say here...Kurama and Hiei get a taste of each other dies at her horrible attempt at a pun heheh... you'll all find out later. Umm, sorry it took so long...this was really written in a doctors waiting area, you know the ones right outside where all of the little screaming kids are? Yeah...Im very weird at spawn-age of fics and chapters... but I promise the next chapter will be out in a week at most! I hope you all like and leave me a review if you do/dont. I luff e-mails as well 3

**Disclaimer:** -- You just love rubbing it in dont you? No I dont own these wonderfull characters but I do own their libidos! (at least partialy ; ) Oh yes, and this is SHOUNEN AI (boy boy love) in case all of you out there didnt know. esp. since its in the summary and all... -.-;;;

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The fox's insides did a quick flip as he waved away the idea, pretending that it hadn't affected him like it had.  
  
"No, no, it's alright. You know that your always welcome here Hiei."  
  
"Hn."  
  
All the koorime could do was grunt out once again, not knowing how to respond to that statement, and shake his head to rid himself of the water droplets that kept running down from his spikey hair.  
  
Kurama tried not to grin at the sight before him, knowing full and well that Hiei did not appreciate being mocked for his actions and made his way over to the sopping wet little koorime.  
  
"C'mere..." He beckoned tenderly, not really giving much of a choice to the figure in front of him as he slid his hands around the white scarf wrapped around his friends neck and unraveled it.  
  
Shocked, he pulled away, feeling the fox's warm hands brush teasingly against his neck, the temperature difference giving Hiei an easy scapegoat as to his jerky reaction.  
  
"What the hell do you think your doing?" He hissed out, back now against the wall and pushed all the way to the side of Kurama's bed, his breathing erratic; but that could have been attributed to a multitude of different things; as he grabbed his shawl, now one wind away from coming off of him.  
  
"Taking your clothes off."  
  
Kurama stated evenly, looking at Hiei as if he should have known this. The shocked and utterly betrayed look he received from his hi-youkai partner avowed that those precise words were not the ones Hiei had been expecting nor all to wanting to hear. Sighing Kurama placed one knee onto the bed and leaned over towards Hiei, receiving a feral growl from the youkai, back now arched and a pissed off youki radiating from him.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that and you know it."  
  
The fox soothed, tugging gently at the white material in his hand, letting it slide off of Hiei's neck as his words dropped out of his mouth, working their magic to alleviate the aggressive demon on his bed.  
  
Lips pursed and mind whirring Hiei let the fox pull off his scarf though letting his youki spike up in agitation when the fox went for his cloak, those thin nimble digits moving in an all too prepossessing manner.  
  
"Hiei, your sopping wet and soaking into my bed," Kurama declared, gaining another Mr. Obvious title as he leaned further onto his bed trying to reach the demon in question. "I don't care if you think I'm going to take advantage of you, those clothes are coming off whether I have to take them off myself or not."  
  
The fire demon could only blink at the red head leaning towards him, completely thrown off whack at the bluntness of the statement. Two possibilities whirred around in his mind; either the youko was trying to catch him off guard and seduce him by using the said excuse as a scapegoat or...Kurama was telling the truth.  
  
Hn. Neither of them was anymore believable than the other but... Hiei smacked away the hand and jumped off of the bed, leaving the fox in an extremely awkward position as he asked.  
  
"Where are some clothes that I can wear?"  
  
Kurama smiled despite his disappointment and pushed back off of his bed, heading over to his dresser to rummage through it, leaving a discomfited Hiei standing off to the side of the room, no shadows apparent to hide in. He pondered on this fact briefly before hearing the fox let out a frustrated sigh, coming out of the dresser empty handed.  
  
"Go ahead and take off what you can, I'll get you..." Kurama took a lasting glance at the fire youkai before him and Hiei squirmed inwardly under that stare; keeping a cold glare on the outside. "...something."  
  
All he gave in response to that was a simple 'Hn'; turning around and reaching up to unclasp his cloak from around his neck as Kurama dove into the next drawer, searching for something that might fit Hiei's considerably smaller frame.  
  
Kurama had just found an extremely small pair of black boxers and a plain black night shirt that he hadn't even realized he had owned when he heard the wet slap of his friend's cloak fall to the floor.  
  
Looking up from the dresser he saw Hiei's defined arms reach up, the muscles in his arms rippling enticingly as he reached over his head and tugged on the back of his wet shirt, the fabric clinging to his form and, unknowingly, showing more of his mesmerizing body off to the fox a few feet away from him as it slid over his every distinctly shaped contour.  
  
His tongue darted out to lick at his lips, just watching Hiei strip off his wet clothes making his breathing go awry and his eyes flash with an amber colored desire. Kurama was over to his fire youkai friend in a matter of seconds, just as his second article of clothing hit the floor with a wet splat, mouth closed around the junction of Hiei's slightly moist neck, the clothes lay tossed forgotten on the bed.  
  
** And all I can taste is this moment  
**  
Alarms went off in the hi-youkai's head as he felt the hot mouth close over his skin, sending a spike of pure heat through the already heated fire youkai body; every muscle in his body steeling taut at the contact.  
  
This wasn't right! He was supposed to do something when this happened...but...what was that again?  
  
His mind clouded over as the mouth on his shoulder massaged his neck with its agile tongue, the tension that had previously overtaken his body slowly melting away into the advances of that luscious warmth tasting him.  
  
The unaccustomed action making the fire youkai flush from the neck up and suddenly it was a lot harder to breathe, the tongue rolling its way around his neck in sapid circles causing his chest to rise and fall in small inconsistent heaves.  
  
He closed his eyes, his body already sub-coming to the pleasurable ravishing, and tried to calm his breathing, fighting to remember what it was he was supposed to do when this happened.  
  
'He smells like...roses...'  
  
The thought drifted across his mind as the delicate brush of red silk traced across his shoulder. The fox moved his mouth up higher and nipped softly at the skin he found there, the half koorime gasping under his assault. Roses enveloping his senses in their satiny embrace as fingers just as soft found their way to his waist, moving up his sensitive skin in a mesmeric brush of heat on ice.  
  
'OH! _Gods_...I love that smell...'  
  
He drank in another pleasing wave of that enchanting scent, letting it intertwine through his system and posses him completely, wondering for a split second if the fox had smelt of roses for the whole of his life; youko and such.  
  
** And all I can breathe is your life**  
  
Hiei tasted so good...like a fine foreign wine to a man who had until now only tasted the water. Feeling the fire youkai give in to his advances did nothing to inhibit Kurama from keeping up his attack, going down on him further and giving into his youko hunger for the little demon entirely.  
  
He didn't even realize that his hands had wandered up Hiei's sides until the fire youkai exploded with an excited gasp, caught somewhere between growling and whimpering as he arched his chest forward automatically; giving himself up more to the seemingly all too new sensation Kurama was giving him.  
  
He almost smiled before he realized what he was doing.  
  
'Kuso! What the hell am I doing?!'  
  
His youko insatiability had taken over every coherent thought and driven him to his advance's, his rational mind being strangled offensively and thrown into the dark to await when it could be called upon again. It was always his damn youko side that wanted everything he saw the second he saw it.  
  
So...why, now that his conscious was in the spotlight, wasn't he letting go??  
  
He broke away from Hiei's neck with one last prolonged lick, feeling more disappointment than he had anticipated he would have at loosing the delectable contact. The fox took one last lingering look at the youkai below him, a part of him sincerely regretting leaving that tenderized skin, and forcibly pulled himself away from Hiei.  
  
Grabbing up the normally ill-tempered youkai's bundle of wet clothing from around his feet Kurama took carefully measured strides toward his bedroom door, letting his hair splay over his shoulders and obscure his suddenly heated face, tossing a quick instruction over his shoulder.  
  
"I'll...uh...be right back. I'm going to go put these in the dryer; your change of clothes is on the bed...you know where the towels are if you need them, ne Hiei?"  
  
Not waiting for an answer he swiftly opened his door and was gone, rushing down the stairs and hoping to Inari that his face wasn't as red as his hair.  
  
** 'Cause sooner or later it's over...**  
  
Hiei was left alone with only his slowing breathing, not even his thoughts snapping back into place quick enough to save him from the stunned and thwarted look that crossed his face as he felt the warm presence of his fox leave him. "What was..._kisama..._"  
  
He breathed out, bringing his hand up to the heated place on his neck he tentivaly brushed his fingers over it, just to see if what he thought to have just taken place really had.  
  
When his fingers brushed over the small spot that had started to swell and elicited a rush of shivers he drew his hand back as if burned, staring down at them in amazement.  
  
The fox...he had just...to him...with such a...oh god.  
  
He felt himself blush as he reacted wholly to the very fond memory of the fox's heated mouth on his neck.  
  
He couldn't take this, not right now, not while he was still trying to figure out where he stood with the fox, not while he was still trying to figure out IF he wanted to stand at all. Not while he could be driven simply by impulses of need to see the fox, not while he could abandon all ardor to a simple touch from that fox, not while he wanted so badly...  
  
One foot on the window pane ready to leap out into the night to escape the hauntingly real thoughts and feelings that were flooding over him too fast and too strong for his liking he paused, hearing the creak of the middle stair, signaling the fox's returning presence.  
  
Suddenly a strong feeling passed over the koorime, making him pause a precious second longer. He recognized this feeling...it wasn't quite guilt but something similar...  
  
Then it hit him this feeling was...regret. He hadn't even left the room and regret was making his insides twist painfully.  
  
What the hell was wrong with him? First he makes a long way stop from Genkai's temple to come over here and then he lets the fox get away with...  
  
Blushing intensely and scowling at the instant heat that filled him he shoved away the memory.  
  
** ...that**, and then he goes and feels regret at leaving the insidious fox? This made no sense at all!  
  
Thoughts clashing around in his head faster than he could ever hope to be froze him to that spot, his gut twisting tighter and tighter at every measured step from the fox until they finally ceased; leaving him with his only option.  
  
"Don't come in."  
  
The faintly twisted door handle stilled at the harsh order and the fire demon glared at the knob waiting for it to return to its original position.  
  
"Are you okay Hiei?"  
  
He glowered at that comment and almost snorted. Stupid questions fox, stupid questions...  
  
"Hn..." Hiei growled out as he re-latched the window and made his way over to the clothes on the bed, stripping out of the rest of his clothes and throwing those on. "Baka kitsune."  
  
"Hiei...?"  
  
Kurama questioned through the door, concern etching into his voice though the fire youkai conveniently missed it as he flopped down on the bed then, thinking better of that decision flitted over to the window and took up his normal position there.  
  
"I'm...I'm coming in Hiei."  
  
The fox had given fair warning and hurriedly twisted the door handle, his stomach forcing its way into his throat at the thoughts that ran through his pretty, troubled head.  
  
What if Hiei had left; confused because of what he had done? Or worse still, what if he had left angry? After all of his hard work breaking through the little youkai's boundary's, trudging through all of his complicated behavior's, getting a look behind those fiery eyes...had he gone and blown it all in a single moment of unrepressed passion?!  
  
'Please Hiei...stay with me tonight...at least let me the chance to explain!'  
  
** I just don't wanna miss you tonight**

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Please, click the review button and save a puppie? 


	3. how could I not love you?

Okay I didn't realize how long this chapter got... on my word (cut out from the rest of the story) its 6 pages. Xx; Hope that makes up for the delay. I got over my writers block, for this at least -.-, and I really hope that you like it. Im feeling a tad bit insecure about my abilities right now but its probably just me and I'll feel better tomorrow. –shrug-

I want to give a BIG huge uberglomp to my friend who's agreed to be beta for me and the recipient to many a whiney IM with my crap. There's no way that I could thank you enough S. –snog- And then thank you all of my faithful reviewers! –UBERSNOG- I lurv you all and...omg, belive me, if you weren't there the story would have slipped away and I wouldn't have finished it. You guys rock. –tear- ...-glomp!-

Okay, that looks like about it, little A/N at the end as well that might explain a little about my twisted view on Kurama's mind. (a very very small, miniscule, barely there AN on how I think his mind works; it would take to long to go into the details of how I see his mind working :3

**Disclaimer:** -.- Come on, if I owned them would I have to go and mop my floors right now?! .........that's a 'no-I-don't-own-them' for all of you law firms out there. 

**Warning:** it's the third chapter, if you don't know that theres boy boy love in here by now theres something wrong... :3

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'Please Hiei...stay with me tonight...at least let me the chance to explain!'  
  
** I just don't wanna miss you tonight**  
  
He silently prayed to himself as he swung open the door, all too expectant to find his demon friend gone and the rain pouring in through the open widow to his bedroom as it had been so many times before when he had done something that Hiei needed time to think about.  
  
But...it wasn't.  
  
There was Hiei, perched on the window sill; arm braced over one bent knee, the other kept straight out, his crimson gaze intent on peeling the finish off of Kurama's dark cherry wood work framing.  
  
"Hiei..." He breathed out, sighing as his stomach took up its regular residence.  
  
The fire youkai remained silent, his face impassive and his body rigid, staring at that one spot on the wall. Not even a brusque HN was heard as the emotional sigh was released from the fox.  
  
Closing the door behind him with a soft click he took in the appearance of his room.  
  
Well nothing seems to be charred...and it looks like everything is in the same place that I left it. Well, except for the clothes, he noticed taking in the rumpled state of his empty bed and the wet pants on the floor before looking over to the brooding hi-youkai on his windowsill. They were for the most part a good fit, Kurama congratulated himself, with the exception of the shirt; with all of its baggy-ness it was hanging off of one of his shoulders and was clearly not Hiei's.  
  
Hmm, so youkai, you're not mad enough to leave but you don't seem to want to look at me... what are you trying to say?  
  
With an expertly hidden twist of his fingers Kurama locked the door to his bedroom as he pushed off of the door, sauntering over to the half koorime on the other side of his room with a slightly guilty look on his face.  
  
"Was that okay Hiei?"  
  
The fox asked, his question double sided and gauging. He could answer this question in one of two ways and it would point Kurama into the direction of where his mind lay.  
  
"Their fine fox."  
  
Hiei grunted out, voice monotone and unerring; but Kurama didn't miss the quick tensing of the hi-youkai's shoulders or the swift flash of garnet jewels glaring at him as he tried to cover it up with the curt answer.  
  
Chewing on his bottom lip the kitsune fought for the best course of action to take at observing the uncomfortable air coming from the fire youkai, finally settling on simply placing his hand on Hiei's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the skin and smiling down at the demon when he started violently.  
  
As soon as the youkai's mouth opened to say something the fox's hand was gone as he turned to his bed, picking up the discarded pants that were soaking his floor and bundling them up in his arms.  
  
"Good, I thought that they would fit you."  
  
Kurama kept his face away from Hiei who was now staring at him intently, gaze too jumbled to decipher one fixed emotion from the fire demon though surprise was evident in his rigid form, and slowly fingered one of the belts before tugging it out of the loop as silence settled over the two of them.  
  
Hiei stared at the fox, his eyes following the fox's movements as he pulled the belts off of his pants with a slow and steady movement. For some reason his chest tightened again, unbidden to its master's wishes to stay still. There was no reason for this behavior from him, no raison d'être for the molten fire that started to pulse through him as the fox languidly pulled the first white belt from his soaking black pants, dropping it onto his bed and letting his libidinous digits work on rolling and twisting the second belts clasp loose.  
  
The silence seemed to stretch for an eternity as those fox fingers prowled their way over his second belt, feeling it as if it were the last thing he could ever remember before being sent to death and the little Jaganshi noticed his heartbeat speed up involuntarily but made quick to disguise it as Kurama brought his gaze up.  
  
He was about halfway done with pulling that belt off and didn't stop fondling it as his leaf green eyes caught the blood droplets across the room. Nothing was said, just the two of them together in the room, Kurama multitasking with the belts while Hiei was multitasking with a different matter entirely.  
  
All at once thunder clapped as if right in the room with them, sending car alarms and the like off all down the street, sending an equally startled fire demon off of the window ledge; breaking the shared moment as he sought for a shadow to delve into.  
  
The only time he ever heard those damn things was when he was about to get run over by one of them.  
  
"Don't worry Hiei, its just the car alarms that got set off, the neighbors will turn them off in a second." Kurama sighed, trying to sound reassuring while noticing that the moment had been shattered into a million pieces and he resigned himself to pulling out the second belt without an audience.  
  
"Hn." Hiei growled out, taking up a seat in a corner that was next to the window, one knee bent up and the other folded in front of him, katana held securely in one arm. "I don't want a ningen to see me, especially on your windowsill."  
  
He glared at the fox, feeling humility rise slightly in his stomach at letting the Kurama see him jump up like that but ebb as he directed his attentions on the fox. Really it was quite true, if any ningen was out, even given this weather and saw a strange figure in the window of their sweet 'Minamino Shuuichi's' room there would be trouble for the fox given either the story's he'd have to make up or the explaining he'd have to do.  
  
"Hiei...?" There was an edge to Kuramas voice as he lowered the hi-youkai's pants, his eyes shining in a confused and almost hurt manner. "I cant understand you..." He sighed plopping down on the edge of the bed, letting the pants drop, un-cared for to the floor with a 'shwap' before making eye contact again. "Why come here, why come to ME if you don't want to be seen with me?"  
  
Crap. He'd done it again... Talking always got him places he NEVER wanted to be, hadn't he learned this already!? Kurama had interpreted his statement the wrong way.  
  
Its not you that I don't want to be around fox...its them, I don't want them to see me, any of them. I don't want the world to see me, I would have thought you'd understand...  
  
** And I don't want the world to see me...**  
  
The fire youkai opened his mouth to set the kitsune right but stopped, finding his voice gone, words of no use to him now that he _wanted_ to use them. He knew that the fox wanted something from him, he knew that he had hurt the fox, but...the fox just didn't know. He didn't know how his life had been, he didn't know how he had gotten the way he was today.  
  
"I'm a soldier fox." It was simple but true, his life had been one never ending war of pain and hurt, distrust and disloyalty, faith never lain in anyone other than himself; the fox couldn't expect him to change so easily...  
  
"If anyone ever had any chance in understanding me I would have thought it you Kurama." He rumbled out, sighing softly at retrieving his voice. "You know the makai, you know how it can be... but when it's me, the forbidden child..." the hi-youkai's eyes clouded slightly as his tone on his title darkened. Shaking his head slightly he dismissed it. "It doesn't matter..."  
  
Kurama looked up from his hands and fixed Hiei with a confused look. "Hiei...what are you saying?"  
  
The koorime's jaw clenched. Did he really need to be told?  
  
"I don't want anybody _else_ to see me; its not you that I shy from kitsune..."  
  
"Hiei...your in the ningenkai now, its not the sa- -"  
  
It was almost comical, the way that the koorime could anticipate every thing that leapt out of the fox's mouth; the way that he would jump to the conclusion that Hiei was talking about himself and his reputation, so he cut him off with a sharp glare.  
  
"It **is** the same. You know, have you ever listened to yourself talk fox? You contradict everything that comes out of that pretty mouth."  
  
His words were harsh and Kurama nearly lost his sense of balance when he heard the fire demon slip up and add in the obvious admiration of his features. His head spun slightly and he had to fight to bring himself back to the voice that was still rambling away. Normally he couldn't get Hiei into a decent conversation and now, even though the atmosphere was rather castigating, he wanted to be able to take in every word that was said. Bad and good.  
  
"You say that no one here knows nor cares who I am, and yet they all either treat me like a child else like a disease. How is this different from makai?" Not expecting nor waiting for an answer he continued on, anger laced in his words. "And you; the infamous youko thief of the makai, the one who strikes fear through the hearts of all treasure holders in the other worlds, the one who tells the Jaganshi of the ningenkai's hospitality and understanding cant even show himself for what he truly is."  
  
Now Hiei was standing, his anger fading slightly as he took meaningful strides over to where the fox sat and stood just before him, not knowing what to do but still knowing that something had to be done. Taking one of Kurama's side locks he let it slide across his hand and back down to its master's chest, something closely related to derision in his voice now as his eyes locked with never ending green ones.  
  
"How can you tell me that the ningenkai is so much different when you cant show who you really are? How can you ask me to believe that they would understand seeing me with you, you as you really are? I told you youko, its not you that I don't want to be around it's the ningenkai that doesn't want me to be around you. I don't care what you say...they'll never understand. They cant."  
  
** Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
**  
He had overstepped his limitations and he knew it. Hell he had violated his own very carefully constructed rules, tortuous paths being blown away like his kokuryuhaa being let loose in the center of them, let alone what he had done to the fox's border's.  
  
'I really thought that you might understand...'  
  
Stepping away from being so close to the fox he tried to move, one side of him screaming to get out of there before the fox lashed out at his unruly scathing of his life style and the other not wanting to let go of the forelock of hair it had possession of at the moment. Decisions decisions...  
  
A hand came up to grab the koorimes slender wrist that was holding the fox's tress. He chanced a look back at the fox, expecting to see anger, maybe even hate, it was the way everyone had always looked upon him and would be no different if it came from another he had come to care about. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought sadly back to the time the fox had said he'd always care for him.  
  
'Hn, fox. Have you another fine contradiction for me?' But he was startled to find that there was no hate there, not even the slightest trace of anger in the kitsune's eyes; the only emotion that was there for him to see was...something he hadn't ever seen before. There were no words to describe the look he was now lavished in.  
  
"Hiei..."  
  
Was it worth it? Everything that was running through him right now was telling him to do stupid things, things that would get him in trouble with so many people, things that would be so good and yet so bad...things that youko would have done in an instant, no thinking required.  
  
He wanted to prove to the koorime that not everything in his life had been so horrible, he had learned many things were frowned upon in the ningenkai that were not held in such high disregards in the makai but he had also learned that many things could be loved in a way he had not been able to know until he had come to the ningenkai...  
  
_ Do it...just do it. He wouldn't have stopped if he didn't want you like you want him. Do it, there will never be another chance like this one!_  
  
But he didn't know _what_ he was supposed to do. Yes, very vivid images of the things that his wild pre-life legacy** would** have done danced before his eyes like a private movie just for himself, starring the little koorime in front of him; but this was different, the 'little koorime' wasn't something that could be just surprised with sudden shows of affection.  
  
It would demoralize the simple yet complex bond that they shared; it would shatter to pieces everything that he had worked so hard to achieve with the child like hell fire in front of him, it would probably break everything that they ever had.  
  
** When everything is meant to be broken...**  
  
But there was that infinitesimal, little, irrational flaw of light in the waves of pessimism and depression that rolled over him like the never ending river Styx telling him otherwise. The tiny light composed of the last little bit of him left with enough passion to hope.  
  
The passion to hope that no matter what, he could throw caution to the wind and in fact have the one he desired the most.  
  
The hunger wasn't just a want; it was a need; gnawing on his insides and spreading around his body with a force he hadn't felt in a very very long time; limbs and insides being consumed by the wild fire that was Hiei.  
  
To want someone, someone who was there and real, someone whom he could touch, who he was touching right now. It was almost intoxicating to feel the thrumming beat of the fire youkai's pulse through his warm skin. This wasn't a dream; this was real, for both of them; hearts beating to a different rhythm but souls in sync with the chaotic jumble that was their emotions.  
  
With a small quirk of his lips the fox pulled on his wrist, just so slightly, but with the part ice apparitions eyes drowning in those never ending emerald pallets embracing him from their spot below, there was nothing he could do short of follow the unspoken commands given to him by the kitsune.  
  
He felt suspended, third worldly, as if he were trapped inside twin jagan's from the fox before him as he took one small step after another with the fox's hand as his guide.  
  
There was no room to think, there was nothing other than those alluring leaven eyes leading him to where ever they deemed fit.  
  
The thundering gales battering the world just outside of the window faded out, the thrumming of the electricity thinned to nothing as the two stood together, locked by a possession of the others. Nothing would pull them apart, but something brought them together.  
  
Experienced lips met forbidden lips in a cautious sweep as the fox lifted his mouth up, brushing sensitive flesh against sensitive flesh in a cautious embrace.  
  
There was nothing else to catch him as he fell from his precautions and into the fox's warm lips. They moved in a dance against his mouth, as alluring as those eyes but sensual in a way nothing else ever could be. Moving in slow nips with just his agile lips, the pace was silently set for both, each moving in deliberate strokes against the other.  
  
The hand that held the lock of hair moved up into the flaming red mane, grabbing at the silken strands as the hand holding his wrist wrapped around his waist, trailing seductively around his hips and resting at his lower back, pulling him closer still to the fox demons chest.  
  
There was no time for air except for when the other would withdraw, only to come back in and capture the other with his mouth again. Heart beats thrummed, blood starting to rush with the sensual stimulation their heated mouth's created.  
  
Heat, hot, it surrounded them, churning in and around them, driving, encouraging, demanding more. Hands snaked up the koorime's side, pushing his shirt up as the warm pads of the fox's fingers indulged on the feast of skin exposed to them.  
  
Rubies shot open immediately and a sharp gasp was echoed at the unfamiliar touch, jump starting his brain to what exactly was happening. Jerking away from the touch the hi-youkai's eyes were wide, untangling himself from the half lidded fox and scrambling backwards.  
  
Just as soon as the touch was lost the red heads eyes widened as well, finding the recipient sprawled on his floor unceremoniously, crimson droplets wide and disbelieving.  
  
_ No...this couldn't be happening. What have I just...done?  
_  
He could feel the blush sneaking across his features despite his pride and the more important situation rising at hand; all too aware of his partially clothed body and the irregular breathing of the other.  
  
Deafening thunder slammed through the room; lighting everything up in the same moment, a surreal monotone of black and white. The only thing he could see were those two orbs boring straight into his mind; filled with confusion, apprehension, fear, and... panic. Each running over the koorime's eyes, only a chaser for a different, deeper emotion before the lightning faded and with it the fire demon himself.  
  
"No! **Hiei**!"  
  
Reaching a hand out and catapulting himself off of the bed instinctively to grab the little demon; the cry escaping his lips before he could even consider how his mother might react to the outburst in the middle of the night.  
  
He was on his feet before his mind could register it and standing beside the open window of his bedroom faster than even he thought he could get there. Water poured in in sheets and waves, getting the youko spirit soaked by the rain pouring in through it and not caring in the slightest as it did so, eyes trying to fix on something, _anything,_ out in that tempest...to no avail.  
  
** I just want you to know who I am**

* * *

AN: Yes I know in the last scene I said a lot of things on Kurama's seeming infatuation with being able to actually hold someone that he –wanted- –hint hint - and being able to feel the pulse of someone that he wanted. Well my personal insights on that are that he had several other lovers as Youko, which is fine and dandy with him and... erm... 'little youko', but I see his only other two POSSIBLE relationships being with Yomi and Kuronue, not so much Yomi because of his whole... 'Im going to kill you cause you took my sight thing' but whatever. –shrug- and I love the Kuronue Youko pairing cause it just sounds SO believable. Believe what you like but I will continue believing this. Anyways, I used "actually wanted" because we all know that Kurama has stalkers and that they all –want- him but he (in my mind, and really on the show as well) doesn't want anything to do with them. But he kinda lives in the past, where his youko loves/flings/lifestyle was and where as many a night had gone to Kuronue and Yomi and others in the makai he could never actually HOLD them because either they were dead or they were untouchable. So that's where the whole –need/want/hold- thing came in incase any of you got confused somewhere around there. ;3 

Oh and dont worry, my beta thought that I might end it there but Im not going to, there's still more if you want to read, it just needs to be written. Review? Please? For a cookie? -waggles cookie- ;3


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